Who Are the Real Women

Want to know who a real woman is? This chart – courtesy of danceswithfat.org – will help you.

Dances With Fat

It seems that every day I see something about “real women” Whether it’s an article calling women who aren’t models “real women,” or stores that sell clothes for fat people advertising that their clothes are for “real women”, or ads for plus-size dating sites indicating that they will help men find “real women”, or shirts and Facebook memes that say “real women have curves” or some such thing.

I don’t know about you, but what I want is a world where we accept and celebrate the diversity of bodies, not a world where my body is seen as better than someone else’s. I have no interest in trying to wield the idea of being a “real woman” as a weapon. (Nor do I ever feel like I know better than other women what gender they are, as if there should be some kind of crotch and chromosome check and then some women get to…

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Back Off My Big Fat Body

Some days someone else says exactly what I’m thinking. Today is one of those days, and Ragen has voiced my thoughts eloquently…

Dances With Fat

Photo by Richard Sabel. Photo by Richard Sabel.

Everyday I hear messages from society about my fat body. I’m told that it’s a sign of moral failing, laziness, it’s a shortcoming, it’s unattractive, blah blah blah –  the negative messages are incessant and ubiquitous.

I spent a lot of my life so intent on hating my body for not meeting the cultural stereotype of beauty that I never once appreciated it for what it did.  Instead of defending the amazing body that helps me do every single thing that I do every moment of every day, I joined in the chorus of disapproval that suggested that I should hate my body and do ridiculous things to my fat. I sold my own body out to buy into an arbitrary social stereotype of beauty, and a modicum of begrudging approval that was contingent upon my keeping myself down so that my detractors didn’t have…

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Playing the political correctness card in Rotherham

This isn’t the normal fare I pass along or write, but it’s a damn good piece about a topic that needs to be discussed!

the HAES® files: Creating a Buffet of Movement©

I needed to read this today, and I’m reblogging it to remind myself of #1 most especially.

The Religion of Weight Loss

Can I get an amen?

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

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For the past two weeks, I have been observing and participating in #notyourgoodfatty on Twitter, which you can read the genesis of here.

In summary, the hashtag was started when fat activist Amanda Levitt and mazzie had a conversation during which mazzie came up with the hashtag as a reply to Amanda; thus, the #notyourgoodfatty Diet Culttrend began. The hashtag was soon filled with fat positive ideals and affirmations; things that fat people do unapologetically, and it soon became a supportive place for fat activists. At one point, the hashtag became one of the top popular trends on Twitter.

But of course there are detractors — trolls came out of the woodwork from the swamps of 4chan and reddit to invade what is basically a fat-positive space in order to demean and put down contributors to the thread. Trolls opened sock puppet accounts in order to put their piece in…

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What Fat Acceptance Doesn’t Mean

There are days when I’m not sure I can continue pushing against the tide of fat shaming and consider giving in to behavior and a mindset that I know (from personal experience) do not work. Then I find a post like this that reminds me that it’s worth sticking to my fat acceptance guns. It’s not easy, but I believe it’s worth it.

Dances With Fat

Lies Sorry for the lapse in blogging, More Cabaret hosted our first all plus-size variety show in Los Angeles and it was awesome. Then we moved, that was less awesome but is more awesome now that we’re actually in the new house. Anyway, I’m back and I’ve missed you all!

I’m not sure why, but recently I’ve been receiving lots of e-mails and comments discussing one of the arguments that I often hear “against” the concept of Fat Acceptance.  Here are a couple examples from the e-mails I got (I tried to pick from each end of the spectrum):

 I just can’t get behind accepting fatness.  I like my body as it is, I don’t want to be fat and I will do whatever it takes not to be fat.

Fuck you fat acceptor fucks and your fat acceptance.  You will never make me be a fat fuck like you!


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URGENT! Fat Filmmaker Being Harassed by Haters

Backed and now dropping bread crumbs for others to follow.

Seriously, is there a reason why this sicko is doing this?!? (Other than the fact that he’s obviously a douchey asshat.)

Dances With Fat

fight back Lindsey Averill is in the process of co-creating the documentary “Fattitude:  A Body Positive Documentary” which the kickstarter page describes as “A feature-length documentary that exposes how popular culture fosters fat prejudice, and then offers an alternative way of thinking.”  She is working to crowdfund the project and has created the Kickstarter and a trailer on YouTube and then, she told me, this happened:

It all started when I reported a YouTube user, “GODBLESSADOLFHITLER” for copyright for posting my trailer verbatim on his youtube channel – I also reported another video of his that featured my film and horrible images of 9/11 hate speech, etc. YouTube pulled down his videos and he and his followers began to torture me. They were calling our house till I changed our number. They are now calling my family, my husband’s business and the have collected all the information on my interviewees and posted…

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Feminism, Scales, and Me: A Love Story

I’m glad to join the author in being human. I love me and I love my body. I also acknowledge that I have my bad days, too, but I still love my body.

Disrupting Dinner Parties

“Could you step on the scale, please?”

My reaction to that simple request, as always, is both visceral and invisible. Obediently I take off my shoes and step up. Meanwhile, the familiar crawling, itchy tug of dread –  the preemptive prickles of shame – the leaden sinking knowledge of impending failure. Meanwhile, my Feminist Brain scolds me. “You are a liberated, feminist woman who believes in radical body acceptance. You have nothing to fear from a scale.”

This scale is digital, thank cat. So much faster than the analog ones with those little weights that you watch the nurse slide, judgment in the click of every little black marker she has to add. Digital, so it rips the band-aid off faster, blinking out a cold and unyielding 181.

Click through for image source If I hold my breath, will I be lighter? Hang on, I forgot to take of my glasses.

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May Contain Fewer Zs

Some parts of this story are painfully familiar, while others are different. But she captures so much of how I’ve felt (and occasionally still feel), and I wanted to pass it along to others.

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

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Please join us in welcoming our newest blogging candidate, Chelle. She will be submitting three guest posts before we vote on her inclusion.

Trigger warning: Discussion of multiple weight loss attempts.

I hate my story. I find it simultaneously boring and complex and, more than that, I’m always worried about coming across as whinging. It’s been a long 32 years. A lot of shit’s gone down, in the words of Jay-Z (probably), most of which I could legitimately claim perpetuated my poor relationship with food and with my body. Have you ever found yourself inadvertently in a game of “Crap that’s Happened to Me Top Trumps” with somebody? I hold all the damn cards in that game to the point where it starts to sound like I am making it all up.

Hell, if I were on the hatefest that is The Biggest Loser they’d have a hard time…

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Fat Girls and Rape Culture


Fierce, Freethinking Fatties


Trigger warning: Rape culture

fatfapecultureThis is a topic I dread talking about. It’s majorly triggering for me and for so many other women (and men), but it’s something that needs to be addressed. Rape culture is prevalent, insidious, and normalized in our society. It’s everywhere, and every time someone tries to counter it they experience a huge backlash from the Men’s Rights Activism (MRA) movement, as well as everyday misogynists.

Fat women face an extra special facet of rape culture, though — the claim that they should be grateful for it. You read that right: grateful for being raped.

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